Carl Wilkens (4/25/18), TRE (4/28/18), and a trip to Farm Sanctuary – join us?

interspecies-frands1Differences are not intended to separate, to alienate.
We are different precisely in order to realize our need of one another.
– Desmond Tutu

Hi everyone,

The April events have been great so far, especially, “Connecting the Dots: Finding Compassion Despite Our Differences“. We have received a lot of incredibly positive feedback about the event and several have expressed their desire for it to become something we do annually. We invite you to join our planning team as we take some time to reflect on that idea and ponder the possibilities. Meanwhile, we have two more events this month.

First, a gentle reminder:
An Evening with Carl Wilkens: Beyond Genocide, Respect-Empathy-Inclusion, Wednesday, April 25, 7:30pm-9:30pm.

April included many topics that are emotionally challenging. It felt important to end the month with an opportunity to come together and ‘release’. Please join us for:
Intro to Tension and Trauma Releasing Exercises (TRE®): Connection, Compassion & Community, Saturday, April 28, 6:00pm – 9:00pm.
FREE ADMISSION | VEGAN REFRESHMENTS | EVENT DETAILS & REGISTRATION. (All are welcome: first-timers and those who have already learned.)

Some of you joined us last May when we visited Farm Sanctuary. We had a great time that day! Since Gene Baur, Co-founder of Farm Sanctuary, was recently here speaking at two of our local events, we wanted to invite you to join us as we visit Farm Sanctuary in Acton again this year, on a weekend, possibly in early June, date: TBD. We will leave mid-morning from Orange County in a carpool, arrive in Acton mid-day, picnic on the grounds with BYO vegan lunch, then take a private Farm Sanctuary tour ($10 to FS per person). Would you like to come with us? Send an email to: and we will make sure to include you.

In the spirit of Ubuntu,
Barbara English, LMFT, CBT, TRE® Certification Trainer
Co-founder and Executive Director, Living Ubuntu
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living vegan (facebook)

(949) 891-2005

[Ubuntu] n. We belong to the greater whole



Connecting the Dots: Finding Compassion Despite Our Differences (Sunday, April 15, 2018)

5757686065_7c1b9c666a_z“The lamps are different, but the light is the same.”  – Rumi
Hi everyone,

Within Ubuntu, Desmond Tutu tells us that we have the “proper self-assurance that comes from knowing that he or she belongs in a greater whole and is diminished when others are humiliated or diminished, when others are tortured or oppressed….”

Unlike a worldview based in belonging, the wound that disconnects perceives “Other”. We need not look far in today’s world and historically to find that those who lack institutional power are often commodified and subjugated to the insidious, authoritarian, patriarchal dominance of hierarchal oppression. In contrast to self-assurance, many feel threatened. Some are terrified. And we are all diminished when this occurs.

At this critical point in time when there is so much at stake, it is imperative that we rapidly, significantly, and authentically change the narrative. This will require that we go deeper inside ourselves and with each other. We must identify and “own up to” where we have fallen short, normalize kindness, and learn “repair” to come back into healthy states of connection after inevitable breaches have occurred. This is the essential opportunity to expand our point of view in recognition of the necessary interdependence that is Gaia, the interconnectedness of the all, the whole of life that sustains us, that we in turn sustain as part of it.

When the conventionality we have been indoctrinated into has grown destructive and obsolete, it is time for transformation.

Please join us for:

CONNECTING THE DOTS: Finding Compassion Despite Our Differences, (Sunday, April 15, 12p-5p)

In the spirit of Ubuntu,
Barbara English, LMFT, CBT, TRE® Certification Trainer

Co-founder and Executive Director, Living Ubuntu
| facebook | donate »

living vegan (facebook)

(949) 891-2005

[Ubuntu] n. We belong to the greater whole.



We belong in a greater whole | Love Thy Nature June 26

To make this world different we have to realize that the self is plural, it’s an absolute delusion that’s killing the planet to think that the self is separate.

 — Daniel Siegel, M.D.

Hi everyone,

How would we as humans innately be different if we fully embodied the truth that we are part of the whole?

In thinking about this I re-watched two brief video clips of Dr. Daniel Siegel speaking about how, “…living the lie that the self is separate is a form of impaired integration…” (video) – and how — “…the self is a plural verb, not a singular noun…” (video).

It reminded me of this:

A person with ubuntu is open and available to others, affirming of others, does not feel threatened that others are able and good, for he or she has a proper self-assurance that comes from knowing that he or she belongs in a greater whole and is diminished when others are humiliated or diminished, when others are tortured or oppressed.
— Desmond Tutu

Beyond living the lie that the self is separate, perhaps it is our impaired integration that has additionally limited us to thinking of the greater whole as strictly human. I would suggest that the phrase diminished when others are humiliated or diminished, when others are tortured or oppressed, is equally applicable to all sentient beings, regardless of species. Additionally, we are sustained and kept alive only by living harmoniously and interdependently within biodiversity.


This understanding of the self-regulating nature of earth, we didn’t know about this for 400 years in science, we just didn’t. But now we’re realizing we are destroying billions of years of creativity that enabled all of this vitality to exist. But we’re awakening to that mistake and now we see, instead of thinking of earth as something to exploit and use, we are beginning to realize, it is a community that we are to join and enhance. That’s the big shift.
— Brian Swimme, Ph.D. (Love Thy Nature)

Come join us for A Screening of Love Thy Nature (RSVP) on Sunday, June 26, 6p at Golden West College in Huntington Beach. This is a wonderfully made, beautiful documentary. After the film we will explore connection and disconnection in its many forms, the relationship we experience within our self and with others, including those of other species and the broader natural world we live within and as part of. Let’s find a way together to join and enhance this community, also known as Earth. Let’s fully participate in enacting the big shift. Continue reading

When Sudan is the better option, you know it’s bad

Differences are not intended to separate, to alienate. We are different precisely in order to realize our need of one another.
– Desmond Tutu

Hi everyone,

Today is World Refugee Day. How often do you think about refugees?

“The number of people forced to flee their homes across the world has exceeded 50 million for the first time since the second world war… half… are children” (src). Due to ongoing and new global conflicts, combined with ever-growing effects of global warming, this number is apt to continue to be on the rise. The East African refugee population alone in San Diego has easily exceeded 20,000 for many years. If more are on their way, how well-prepared are we to help them? Continue reading

Screening of “God Grew Tired of Us” – July 27 in Irvine

6/30/14 Update:

Please note the event date has been changed.
While originally scheduled for Saturday, July 26, it will now be taking place on Sunday July 27 in order to accommodate the schedule of our Sudanese friends from San Diego who will be part of the event discussion.
We apologize for any inconvenience.

We are made for goodness. We are made for love. We are made for friendliness. We are made for togetherness. We are made for all of the beautiful things that you and I know. We are made to tell the world that there are no outsiders. All are welcome: black, white, red, yellow, rich, poor, educated, not educated, male, female, gay, straight, all, all, all. We all belong to this family, this human family, God’s family.
– Desmond Tutu


A Screening of
“God Grew Tired of Us”

Saturday, July 26, 2014

Sunday, July 27, 2014 – new date!

6:30p Refreshments
6:45p Program
8:30p Q&A Discussion
Joseph Jok, Julia Julima and Wai John will be joining us :)
Continue reading

Our humanity… dependent upon recognizing the humanity in others

The most common, and often deadly, form of human unconsciousness is the perennial confusion of inside and outside. We think we perceive something in the outside world when actually it is a projection of inner content. The result could be stalking, scapegoating, genocide or the billion he said/she said arguments going on any time of the day or night. Unless we are taking the contra naturum path of rigorous self-examination, we live in a state of continual projection.
– Jonathon Zap

Hi everyone,

For the longest time I have wanted to offer a workshop about, “Humanizing the Perpetrator”. Maybe at some point I will, yet, it’s not a very popular topic. The only time Living Ubuntu had to cancel a retreat due to lack of registration was in 2012 when we sought to offer: When We Become the Thing We Hate: How our trauma and unhealed wounds erode empathy, fuel fear, and create “others”.

When we see others as the enemy, we risk becoming what we hate. When we oppress others, we end up oppressing ourselves. All of our humanity is dependent upon recognizing the humanity in others.
– Desmond Tutu

I can’t tell you how much I wanted to do that retreat! I am passionate about these very challenging topics. I see them as essential aspects of individual and global healing, and Ubuntu: what dehumanizes you, inexorably dehumanizes me. Continue reading

We blinked and it’s Thanksgiving…

Wisdom means seeing into the heart of things, beneath the surface of our contradictions, where there is no good nor bad, neither right nor wrong. It means seeing the human being as the animal he is, struggling to gain security yet be free, to be productive but also joyful, to seek pleasure but also to know pain, to hope for transcendence and yet be content that one is contained within a finite body. It is to know that love does not exist without the possibility of hatred. It is to know that there is a time for living and a time for dying. It is to know that the individual exists to celebrate life.

– Alexander Lowen

Hi everyone,

So, I blinked and it’s Thanksgiving week (and for some, Chanukah too)…

For me the subjective sense that time is going by so very quickly only reaffirms the need to live and live every moment. Last year this time I was dealing with a bit of shock after noting the death of four people close or well-known to me who had all passed within a two month period of time, plus the loss of a beloved feline family member. This year I sit with the sadness of two recent suicides. Life is uncertain. Life is short. We must live the life we have to its fullest extent, and celebrate life.

There is so much I am grateful for, so much that we all have to be grateful for.

How would life be different for us all if, like the Desmond Tutu quote on Ubuntu, we really allowed it to permeate deep into our being, the self-assurance that comes from knowing we are part of and belong within the greater whole? And — that we are diminished when others are humiliated or diminished, tortured or oppressed…

If we genuinely lived in pursuit of the common good, what would that look like?

So, before I blink again and find that 4th of July fireworks are going off, I want to thank each one of you for being a part of Living Ubuntu. I am deeply grateful for your presence, engagement, and support.

I hope to see you at one of our partners’ upcoming events noted below. Watch for another email coming soon giving a preview of next year’s projects and events.

For now, I hope you fully enjoy the holidays. Celebrate life.

Thank you,

Barbara English
Founder & Executive Director, Living Ubuntu
(949) 891-2005

[Ubuntu] n. Every human being truly becomes a human by means of relationships with other human beings.


Winter Wonderland — A Tiyya Foundation Fundraiser
Saturday, December 7, 7p — Mission Viejo
Facebook event »

Write for Rights & Bake Sale — Amnesty International – Irvine
Sunday December 8, 10a — Irvine
Facebook event »

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