Find people who regulate you well and stay near them (June 2018 events)

Adults remain social animals: they continue to require a source of stabilization outside themselves. …in some important ways people cannot be stable on their own.…
Total self-sufficiency turns out to be a daydream….
Stability means finding people who regulate you well and staying near them.
– Charney et al

Hi everyone,

What are you doing on Saturday, June 16? A bunch of us are taking a day trip to visit Farm Sanctuary in Acton. If you have never been there, it is a wonderful place, so you might want to come with us.

We filled up super fast for the number of spots we reserved on the tour. If you want to come, but did not register on Eventbrite yet, let us know by adding your name to the Eventbrite Wait List. We will do our best to accommodate everyone, but that means, we need you to let us know you want to be there. Do not hesitate, carpool arrangements will be getting finalized at the end of this week. So the time to tell us you want ‘in’ is now (or very soon).

June has many additional interesting things happening, so scroll down for a few more Upcoming Community Events.

In the spirit of Ubuntu,

Barbara English, LMFT, CBT, TRE® Certification Trainer
Co-founder and Executive Director, Living Ubuntu

livingubuntu.org
| facebook | donate »

living vegan (facebook)

(949) 891-2005

[Ubuntu] n. We belong to the greater whole
.

:::UPCOMING COMMUNITY EVENTS:::

SoCal VegFest: Plant Fest (or on Facebook) — free!
Saturday June 2 & Sunday June 3, 10:00a.m. – 3:00p.m. each day
Irvine

Neighborhood Congregational Church: “World Peace & Justice Weekend – A Two Day Oasis of Compassion
Saturday June 9 & Sunday June 10
Laguna Beach
* Audrey Waight, Art Trey Carlisle & Barbara English will present: “Healing the Disconnect: Caring for the Earth as a Whole” on Saturday afternoon

Living Ubuntu: “Field Trip from Orange County to Visit Farm Sanctuary in Acton
Saturday, June 16, 10:00 a.m. – 6:00p.m.
Acton

Animal Rights National Conference
Thursday June 28 – Sunday July 1
Los Angeles
* Gene Baur, Synthian Sharp & Barbara English will present: “So Give Me An F” on Friday morning

April 15 (2018), Connecting the Dots — time to get your tickets

Connecting_Dots_Final (002)
The human race is challenged more than ever before to demonstrate our mastery, not over nature but of ourselves.
— Rachel Carson
Hi everyone,

There is a better path. To find it, we must first recognize the path we are on and its inadequacies.

Call it what you wish, our collective trauma, brokenness, woundedness… pulls us to self-absorption and unplugs our holistic mind. Rightly so. When we perceive a threat, self-survival is top priority. This is exactly what a fight-flight survival defense mechanism that got us evolved this far is supposed to do.

If you encountered the term, species-preservation, given that we are currently on a trajectory to mass extinction, you might think it refers to an environmental conservation effort for endangered wildlife. Yet, two decades ago, in a published journal article on PTSD, Sheila Wang referenced it as a human mindset about other humans. It is what we lose access to when we feel threatened. The fight-flight activation unplugs us from the affiliative sense of being part of the whole. It gets replaced by self-preservation only.

Dr. Bruce Perry is famous for saying, states become traits. A defense mechanism designed for occasional use, to save our life in extreme situations, has become a normalized way of life for far too many of us.

As we look around and see the acculturation of hierarchy, oppression, and pathological narcissism, it points to our loss of healthy state of mind, and it is killing us.

We are not just ‘born this way’. We are not a world full of ‘bad seeds’. We are the product of life experiences across the generations. Within the healing of the collective, a foundational connection to goodness is affirmed and strengthened. At the intersection of our varied forms of oppression, there lies the key to transformation and increased compassion.

There is a better path and we must find it together.

We are hosting what we think will be an extremely powerful, interactive, intersectional, and engaging program. Our featured speakers include Gene Baur, Claire Kim and Katie-Jay Scott. We have assembled many additional speakers from the local area speaking from first hand experiences. While many serious topics will be presented, we will also have some fun and are starting the day by having a meal together.

Please join us for:
CONNECTING THE DOTS: Finding Compassion Despite Our Differences, (Sunday, April 15, 12p-5p) —
DETAILS & REGISTRATION.

Scroll down for UPCOMING EVENTS.

In the spirit of Ubuntu,
Barbara English, LMFT, CBT, TRE® Certification Trainer

Co-founder and Executive Director, Living Ubuntu

livingubuntu.org
| facebook | donate »

living vegan (facebook)

(949) 891-2005

[Ubuntu] n. We belong to the greater whole
.

:::UPCOMING EVENTS:::

A Screening of “Human Flow” – GWC Peace Studies Program (a pre-conference event)
Thursday, April 12, 6:00pm – 9:30pm
Huntington Beach

An Evening with Gene Baur: Increasing Compassion, Sustainability & Equity in our Food System
Friday, April 13, 7:30pm – 9:30pm
Fullerton

Connecting the Dots: Finding Compassion Despite Our Differences
Sunday, April 15, 12:00pm – 5:00pm
Santa Ana

Peace and the Global Economy: Emerging Issues & Practical Solutions – 12th Annual Golden West College Peace Conference
Friday, April 20, 8:30pm – 5:00pm
Huntington Beach

An Evening with Carl Wilkens: Beyond Genocide, Respect-Empathy-Inclusion
Wednesday, April 25, 7:30pm – 9:30pm
Fullerton

Intro to TRE: Connection, Compassion & Community
Saturday, April 28, 6:00pm – 9:00pm

Irvine

***
GENE BAUR * CLAIRE KIM * KATIE-JAY SCOTT * JONI MARIE NEWMAN

eventbrite_dots (004)
plus:
Arthur Trey Carlisle * Jose Trinidad Castenada * Barbara English * Michele Martinez * Amina Mohamed * Piper Sample * Audrey Waight

***

Intro to Tension & Trauma Releasing Exercises (TRE), May 17 in Santa Ana

Paradoxically, the more we let go into life the more we discover that we can re-take control of our lives and participate once again in the precarious nature of being human. Only by letting go can we unlock ourselves from the past, be delivered into the future and prepare ourselves for our next evolutionary experience.
– Dr. David Berceli

 LIVING UBUNTU

Introduction to
Tension & Trauma Releasing Exercises (TRE)

An introductory level experiential mini workshop on chronic and traumatic stress, vicarious and trans-generational trauma, compassion fatigue, and recovery

Saturday, May 17, 2014, 9:30a-12:30p

American Red Cross of Orange County
Room 232 PC (in the main building) – ROOM CHANGED TO 208PC
601 N Golden Cir Dr
Santa Ana, CA 92705

Pre-registration by May 15:
$35.00*

At the door, if space available:
$40.00

*If you are experiencing financial hardship, please contact us. No one turned away for lack of funds.

Click here to register…
Pay Now

The human body registers everything that occurs to it, both physically and neurologically. And if we do not resolve trauma all it can do is to continue to wear us down over life psychologically, emotionally and physically.
– Dr. David Berceli

Continue reading

Why do we put down “feelings”?

People don’t think any more, they feel.  ‘How are you feeling?’  ‘Oh, I don’t feel comfortable.’  ‘Oh, I’m so sorry, we the group were feeling…’

Do you know one of the great problems of our age is that we are governed by people who care more about feelings than they do about thoughts and ideas?  Now thoughts and ideas, that interests me.  Ask me what I’m thinking…

– Margaret Thatcher in the film, The Iron Lady (2011)

Hello everyone,

Once upon a time, in a place not far from here, a group of Darfur, anti-genocide activists went to visit a Congressional aide.  When a member of the group delivered an impassioned plea for intervention and tears came to her eyes as she expressed her heartbreak and anger that innocent children were being bombed by the Sudanese government, contempt for feelings ruled the day, and arrogance reigned supreme as she was told by the aide, “these decisions need to be made by grown-ups”.  A few sentences later, the aide added platitudes, referencing the role of the U.S. government as “we’re doing all we can.”

Having witnessed the above exchange, I couldn’t disagree more with Ms. Thatcher that, “…one of the great problems of our age is that we are governed by people who care more about feelings than they do about thoughts and ideas.”

Why are we so afraid of feelings?  Why so much disrespect and suspicion of them?

I don’t know what happened in Margaret Thatcher’s life that led to such contempt of feelings, but she is not a rarity in her perspective.  Yet, she is targeting the wrong enemy.  Feelings, per se, are not the culprit.

It is a myth that we lose the ability to think rational thoughts, have sound judgment, choose wisely, or are ‘less adult’ when we are emotional.  Feelings are not irrational, immature or mere ‘fluff’.  There would be no warm, empathic relating, or enjoyment of life without them.  Feelings are a necessary companion on the path to knowing who we are and in the pursuit of compassionate wisdom.  They take us beyond the dry and dull to infuse ideas with passion and ‘life’.  Feelings contribute the heart and essential humanness so that we do not fall victim to the cold, calculating, slice-and dice, cut-off automaton influences of a left-brain-only, logical, linear thought process.

Where we get into trouble is when we are not in a well-regulated state, or lack sufficient groundedness in our body.  Then we are at risk to be unable to contain our emotional states.  Feelings can become overwhelming, hi-jack our senses, and unplug the rational.  Chronic stress, and unresolved traumatic experiences only make it worse.

We live in a society that over-values the head at the expense of the heart.  We pay too high a price if we just go along with that.  To counter-balance this, able to feel our feelings and keep our heart open, we’ve got to be able to stay in tune with the body’s sensations.  But how?

That is what we will be working on in our upcoming body group series – Sometimes ‘a head’ just isn’t enough: Bringing the body back to life.  All details are below and on our website.  I hope you will join us.

Warmly and with feeling,

Barbara English
Executive Director, Living Ubuntu
http://livingubuntu.org
(949) 891-2005

.* * *
.

Sometimes ‘a head’ just isn’t enough

Bringing the body back to life

Sometimes ‘a head’ just isn't enough

Why is there so much resistance to feeling our feelings?

Why do we have such a love/hate relationship with our bodies?
Why do we obsess about how we look rather than how we feel?
Why is it so hard to slow down?
Why don’t we stop to feel our tiredness?
Why do we pursue success and accomplishment at the expense of relationships?

Living Ubuntu Body Group
February – May 2013
6 sessions on Sunday afternoons (2p-4:30p)

Orange County, CA

Starts Sunday, Feb 24th
see all dates »

Find out more at
http://livingubuntu.org/events

Questions?  Please contact us at (949) 891-2005 or info@livingubuntu.org

###

“If only my stomach were flat…”

love-your-body2

“In the midst of a war on Iraq, in a time of torture camps and daily bombings, when civil liberties are disappearing as fast as the ozone layer, when one out of three women in the world will be beaten or raped in her lifetime, why write a play about my stomach?

Maybe because my stomach is one thing I feel I have control over, or maybe because I have hoped that my stomach is something I could get control over….

Maybe… I have bought into the idea that if my stomach were flat, then I would be good, and I would be safe.  I would be protected.  I would be accepted, admired, important, loved.”

— Eve Ensler, The Good Body (read the complete quote)

Hi everyone,

“If only my stomach were flat…”
“If only I made more money…”
“If only I had more time …”
“If only I could just keep going…”
If only…

We are prone to bargaining, a lot.  We fall into wishful thinking, frequently.  It comes in myriad forms, claims a limitless list of topics, and often has very little to do with the real issues that are bothering us.  And if ever there is a time of year when it’s at its peak, it’s the Holidays.

Ideal images of perfectly selected gifts, decorations and dinners all fall flat when stress and unrealistic expectations take a toll on relating… when there is an absence of feeling ‘together with’ those one is together with.

(Sigh…) “If only this year could be different…”

We are doing a retreat in January called “If only…” because accepting painful realities can be really, really hard, and grief, our best friend in need of embrace on the long, long, long road to acceptance, has a tendency to show up incognito.  After the holiday season is over, come join us for this retreat in Julian the last weekend in January (25-27).   All details are on our website.

The deposit deadline is easy to remember if you are up on the end of the Mayan calendar.  Same date, Friday, 12/21/12 :)

From the belly,

Barbara English
Executive Director, Living Ubuntu
http://livingubuntu.org
(949) 891-2005

* * *

“If only . . .”

Grief and the long, long, long road to acceptance

What:
2013 Living Ubuntu Winter Retreat

When:
Friday to Sunday, January 25-27 2013

Where:
Julian, CA

Click here to find out more »

* * *

Living Ubuntu Winter Retreat (January 2013)

“If only . . .”

Grief and the long, long, long road to acceptance…

“If only I was prettier, then he’d want me.”
“If only I could find the ‘right’ way to say it, then she’d understand.”
“If only I can be there for her enough, I could save her.”
“If only I keep quiet, it’ll all work out in the end.”
“If only I just keep going, I know it’ll be ok.”
“If only I could get a better _______, my family would be proud of me.”

Some aspects of life are hard to accept ‘as is’, yet, there are limits on what we can influence or control.  In this society, we frequently go to great lengths to avoid painful realities, and we avoid the very thing that would help us reach acceptance, being at peace with ‘what is’.  Far too often, we don’t grieve. 

We see it in:

  • the chronic seeking to win acceptance of those who have rejected us by pleasing, performing and doing everything possible to try to finally be deemed worthy, loveable and good-enough.
  • the downcast eyes and low energy of collapse when resignation has set in.
  • the oppressive wielding of power as a weapon, heels dug in, tightened fists and jaw defiantly refusing to give up, insisting they are going to “make it happen”.
  • those who perceive ‘justice’ as ‘revenge’.
  • the refusal to be vulnerable.
  • the denial of normal human limitations.
  • the defense against recognizing the helplessness of life and accepting the fragility inherent in living an ‘alive’ human life.

We give up when we ought to hang in there, and we refuse to let go when surrender would be best.  Either way, we lose.

If we don’t grieve well, we stay stuck in our illusions. We fight the wrong demons. We’re chronically unfulfilled because we reach for the thing that isn’t what we really want.

Underneath, we have angst. We have quiet desperation. We stay busy because we don’t know what else to do.  We have lost access to the natural rhythm of life.  We can’t even hear our own wise inner-knowing.

We don’t really live.  We don’t really love.  At least, not in the ways we could…

We need to grieve… and… we can’t do it alone.

This is what we’ll be addressing in our Winter Retreat in January.  All details are below.  To create an emotionally safe, secure space, we are limiting attendance to 10 people.  Hope you will join us.

If only we could think of the right thing to say, people would come to our retreat…

:) Barbara & Anshul
Founders, Living Ubuntu
http://livingubuntu.org
(949) 891-2005

“Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.”
– Hermann Hesse

* * *

2013 Living Ubuntu Winter Retreat

The retreat will be in Julian, CA. Click to see more pictures of the cabin.

When:
Friday to Sunday, January 25–27 2013

Where:
Julian, CA.  Here are the cabin details.

Cost:
$195 per person. This includes food and lodging for the weekend.
If there is any financial hardship, please get in touch with us. We will do our best to accommodate your situation.

Presenter:

Barbara English is a licensed Marriage Family Therapist with over 20 years of experience in the field. As a Certified Bioenergetic Therapist, she works from a mind-body perspective, and utilizes relational somatic methods as part of the process toward healing and a sense of well-being. Much of her training has focused on Early Development, Infant Mental Health, and healing after abuse or trauma. She is the co-founder and Executive Director of Living Ubuntu.

Like at our past retreats, we will:

  • Arrive at the cabin by mid-day on Friday and leave for home on Sunday afternoon. We will arrange a carpool to drive up together (leaving Friday morning).
  • Lunch and dinner will be provided, as well as supplies for breakfast (on your own).  Meals will be vegetarian, and organic as much as possible.
  • The daily schedule will include multiple sessions of body work (e.g. Bioenergetic grounding exercises, and TRE).
  • Most bedrooms will be shared (i.e. with roommate).
  • To create a safe, secure space, we are limiting attendance to no more than 10 people.

To register, please contact us at info@livingubuntu.org or call (949) 891-2005.

Space is limited and 50% deposit is due by December 21, payable to Living Ubuntu, 1151 Dove Street #210, Newport Beach CA 92660.

* * *

PBS Video: What is “Living Ubuntu”?

* * *

David Nazar from PBS recently did a feature story on Living Ubuntu regarding our work to create a Trauma Recovery Program for Refugees & Immigrants in Southern California.

75% of the displaced children from Darfur living in refugee camps met the diagnostic criteria for PTSD. A 2007 study of Sudanese refugees in Uganda found that

  • 36% met the criteria for PTSD, and
  • 50% met symptom criteria for depression

Over 4000 Sudanese refugees currently live in San Diego.  And many more from Congo, Uganda, Somalia, and other countries.
.

What is the rate of PTSD among refugees in San Diego?
Help us find out »

Online fundraising for What is the rate of PTSD among refugees in San Diego?

See the original story at SoCaL Insider with Rick Reiff.

When we become the thing we hate: How our trauma and unhealed wounds erode empathy, fuel fear, and create “others”

Update 10/21:
Due to various circumstances, this event is cancelled.  We sincerely apologize for any inconvenience.  If you’d like to get updates regarding future events, please contact us at info@livingubuntu.org or (949) 891-2005.

* * *

“It is not what happened to you as a child that matters,
it’s how you make sense of what happened to you.”
– Dan Siegel

When we become the thing we hate: How our trauma and unhealed wounds erode empathy, fuel fear, and create “others”

Living Ubuntu Fall Retreat (Friday-Sunday, October 26-28 2012)

Hi everyone,

With deeply-rooted, ethnically-based violence continuing in places such as Sudan and Syria, hate-killings like the recent shooting in the Wisconsin Sikh temple, election year Democrat vs. Republican politics ripe with petty name-calling, school bullying an epidemic, and rageful protests against police killings revealing that Latinos feel they have been unfairly targeted right here in Anaheim…

how do we wind up with so many people in this world who see groups of others as, well… “others”?

We long to belong, yet all of us know what it feels like to be the outsider.

Feeling victimized sometimes leads to doing to someone else the very thing that was done to us.  Victims can become perpetrators.  This isn’t the part of ourselves that we are most apt to want to explore, yet if we don’t, then what?

We speak of seeking “tolerance”.  We say “education” is the key.  We espouse “cultural sensitivity” as part of the answer.

Yet, what if that isn’t enough?

We are troubled when we see these issues at-play in society at large, yet these same issues show up in our close, intimate relationships… especially the one we have with our own inner self.

  • Why is it so hard to genuinely empathize with “others”?
  • Why is it so easy to get stuck on our differences and so hard to see what we have in common?
  • Is faking it and superficially “playing nice” the best we can do?
  • How can we deal with the inevitable resentment (and desire for revenge?) that holds us captive?
  • How do unresolved traumatic experiences contribute to stereotypes?

We will be exploring these issues at the next Living Ubuntu retreat.

All details are below.  To create an emotionally safe, secure space, we are limiting attendance to 10 people.  Please let us know soon if you would like to join us.

Warmly,

Barbara & Anshul
Founders, Living Ubuntu
http://livingubuntu.org
(949) 891-2005

“When we see others as the enemy, we risk becoming what we hate. When we oppress others, we end up oppressing ourselves. All of our humanity is dependent upon recognizing the humanity in others.”
– Desmond Tutu

* * *

When We Become The Thing We Hate

How our trauma and unhealed wounds erode empathy, fuel fear, and create “others”

Cabin in Idyllwild

The Living Ubuntu Fall Retreat will be Idyllwild, CA. Click here to see more pictures of the cabin.

When:
Friday, Oct 26 – Sunday, Oct 28 2012

Where:
In the remote mountains of Idyllwild, CA.  Here are the cabin details.

Cost:
$195 per person. This includes food and lodging for the weekend.
If there is any financial hardship, please get in touch with us. We will do our best to accommodate your situation.

Presenter:

Barbara English is a licensed Marriage Family Therapist with over 20 years of experience in the field. As a Certified Bioenergetic Therapist, she works from a mind-body perspective, and utilizes relational somatic methods as part of the process toward healing and a sense of well-being. Much of her training has focused on Early Development, Infant Mental Health, and healing after abuse or trauma. She is the co-founder and Executive Director of Living Ubuntu.

Like at our past retreats, we will:

  • Arrive at the cabin by mid-day on Friday and leave for home on Sunday afternoon. We will arrange a carpool to drive up together (leaving Friday morning).
  • Lunch and dinner will be provided, as well as supplies for breakfast (on your own).  Meals will be vegetarian, and organic as much as possible.
  • The daily schedule will include multiple sessions of body work (e.g. Bioenergetic grounding exercises, and TRE).
  • Most bedrooms will be shared (i.e. with roommate).
  • To create a safe, secure space, we are limiting attendance to no more than 10 people.

To register, please contact us at info@livingubuntu.org or call (949) 891-2005.

Space is limited and 50% deposit is due by September 28th, payable to Living Ubuntu, 1151 Dove Street #210, Newport Beach CA 92660.  Remaining balance is due by October 19th.

* * *

I can’t keep pushing it away anymore

LIVING UBUNTU SUMMER BODY GROUP

“I can’t keep pushing it away anymore”

Using TRE to heal the trauma of everyday living

When cognitive just isn’t enough
When intellectualizing has let me down

When optimism and positivity keep me trapped
When compartmentalizing no longer works

Hi everyone,

In 2004, when I was ruminating about global trauma and how our paradigm for healing could be different, I had the synchronous good fortune to meet Dr. David Berceli, someone already operating from that different paradigm I had been pondering.  He had created a method now referred to as Tension & Trauma Releasing Exercises (TRE) and was using it to help people recover from cumulative and traumatic stress in many of the world’s worst conflict zones.

My own experience of learning and consistently practicing TRE had a profoundly healing impact on me.  As a long-term sufferer of PTSD, my symptoms were greatly reduced, I felt calmer than I knew was possible, and my capacity for tolerating stressful situations greatly increased.  Since then I have taught TRE to over 1000 individuals, and heard many stories of relief on account of it.

We focus on many things in Living Ubuntu, yet continue to emphasize recovering from trauma as part of our core mission.  Having said that, I am excited to let you know that this summer’s 6-session workshop series will focus on stress and trauma.

“I can’t keep pushing it away anymore”
Living Ubuntu Summer Body Group (July – Sept 2012)

We will be utilizing grounding exercises, talking about personal experiences and how and why the body often gets stuck in these experiences.  Additionally, the primary focus of the group will be the use of TRE for our own personal recovery.

All details are below and on our website.  To create a safe, secure space, we are limiting attendance to 10 people.  If there is any financial hardship, please get in touch with us.  We will gladly make arrangements to suit your situation.

Warmly,

Barbara English, Executive Director
Living Ubuntu
http://livingubuntu.org

Barbara English is a licensed Marriage Family Therapist with over 20 years of experience in the field.  As a Certified Bioenergetic Therapist, she works from a mind-body perspective, and utilizes relational somatic methods as part of the process toward healing and a sense of well-being.  Much of her training has focused on Early Development, Infant Mental Health, and healing after abuse or trauma.  She is the co-founder and Executive Director of Living Ubuntu.

. . .

“I can’t keep pushing it away anymore”

Using TRE to heal the trauma of everyday living

Living Ubuntu Summer Body Group
July – September 2012
6 sessions on Sunday afternoons (2:00p-4:30p)

Orange County, CA
Starts Sunday, July 8th
see all dates »

This Living Ubuntu Summer Body Group series will be experiential and offered in a casual setting. It will emphasize Bioenergetic body-centered methods to help us get in touch with these experiences, learn to stay more grounded, and help bring change and healing into our wounded and stuck places.

Find out more at  http://livingubuntu.org/events

Questions?  Contact us at (949) 891-2005 or info@livingubuntu.org

“Some of us think holding on makes us strong;
but sometimes it is letting go.”

– Hermann Hesse

* * *

the pain of being forgotten… the power of being remembered

Update 5/30:
Thanks for the interest everyone.  Here are pictures from the retreat.
If you’d like to get updates regarding our future events, please get in touch with us at info@livingubuntu.org or (949) 891-2005. 

Update 5/5:
Read Barbara’s thoughts about why we picked this theme for the retreat.

the pain of being forgotten... the power of being remembered

Living Ubuntu Spring Retreat (May 25-27 2012)

“At 4-years-old, each row of books towered over me and had a musty smell.  I had been in this library many times, yet there is one day I will never forget.  I was there with my mother, and when I turned around, she was gone.  I looked for her and couldn’t find her.  In my childhood panic, I was immediately convinced that she had just forgotten about me and left.  

Even though I eventually found her, it didn’t take away from the fact that I now knew what feeling forgotten felt like and it terrified me to my core.”

– Barbara

Hi everyone,

It would be easy to dismiss this as something only young children feel, but that just isn’t true.  When someone forgets us, it is a disconnect. We feel invisible, or not significant enough to have been remembered. We feel separate.  We feel cut off.  We become the outcast no longer held in someone else’s heart and mind. This isolated, alienated state, even if only felt briefly, can be devastatingly painful at any age.

It is a basic human need to be known by others.

Each of us wants to share with others what it feels like to be “me”.  The need to be known and remembered, to be held in mind and heart, stays with us throughout our life.  Young or old, it is excruciatingly painful when that doesn’t happen, when instead, we are forgotten.

This May at the Living Ubuntu Spring Retreat, we will be looking into the world of connections, interconnections and disconnections.  We will explore the ways we hold each other within and necessarily participate in each other’s inner lives (for good or for ill).

Some of the topics we will cover at this retreat include the role and importance of:

  • The transformative power of remembering others, holding others in heart and mind, and bearing witness.  The necessity of embodiment, vulnerability, and emotional presence in order to genuinely “remember” others.
  • Increasing our capacity to stay with our self, and self-protect, while being empathic and holding others within. Bringing healing into areas of pain, shame, and heartache, using self-expression and connection to help heal emotional wounds created when we have been forgotten.
  • Getting in touch with and owning the danger within us:  when our inner perpetrator seeks to “blank others out” (i.e. psychic eliminationism).
  • How does this play out with global issues?  Darfur, Congo, Haiti…  What good does it do to hold another, half-way across the world in our heart and mind?  Does it actually help?

All details are below.  To create a safe, secure space, we are limiting attendance to 10 people.  Please let us know soon if you would like to join us.

Warmly,

Barbara & Anshul
Living Ubuntu
http://livingubuntu.org

the pain of being forgotten
. . . the power of being remembered

    The Living Ubuntu Spring Retreat will be Idllywild, CA. Click here to see more pictures of the cabin.

The Living Ubuntu Spring Retreat will be Idllywild, CA. Click here to see more pictures of the cabin.

When:
Friday, May 25 – Sunday, May 27
(Memorial Day weekend)

Where:
In the remote mountains of Idyllwild, CA.  Here are the cabin details.

Cost:
$175 per person. This includes food and lodging for the weekend.
If there is any financial hardship, please get in touch with us. We will do our best to accommodate your situation.

Presenter:

Barbara English is a licensed Marriage Family Therapist with over 20 years of experience in the field. As a Certified Bioenergetic Therapist, she works from a mind-body perspective, and utilizes relational somatic methods as part of the process toward healing and a sense of well-being. Much of her training has focused on Early Development, Infant Mental Health, and healing after abuse or trauma. She is the co-founder and Executive Director of Living Ubuntu.

Like at our past retreats, we will:

  • Arrive at the cabin by mid-day on Friday and leave for home on Sunday afternoon. We will arrange a carpool to drive up together (leaving Friday morning).
  • Lunch and dinner will be provided, as well as supplies for breakfast (on your own).  Meals will be vegetarian, and organic as much as possible.
  • The daily schedule will include multiple sessions of body work (e.g. Bioenergetic grounding exercises, and TRE).
  • Most bedrooms will be shared (i.e. with roommate).
  • To create a safe, secure space, we are limiting attendance to no more than 10 people.

To register, please contact us at info@livingubuntu.org or call (949) 891-2005.

Space is limited and 50% deposit is due by April 27th, payable to Living Ubuntu, 1151 Dove Street #210, Newport Beach CA 92660.

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