When we become the thing we hate: How our trauma and unhealed wounds erode empathy, fuel fear, and create “others”

Update 10/21:
Due to various circumstances, this event is cancelled.  We sincerely apologize for any inconvenience.  If you’d like to get updates regarding future events, please contact us at info@livingubuntu.org or (949) 891-2005.

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“It is not what happened to you as a child that matters,
it’s how you make sense of what happened to you.”
– Dan Siegel

When we become the thing we hate: How our trauma and unhealed wounds erode empathy, fuel fear, and create “others”

Living Ubuntu Fall Retreat (Friday-Sunday, October 26-28 2012)

Hi everyone,

With deeply-rooted, ethnically-based violence continuing in places such as Sudan and Syria, hate-killings like the recent shooting in the Wisconsin Sikh temple, election year Democrat vs. Republican politics ripe with petty name-calling, school bullying an epidemic, and rageful protests against police killings revealing that Latinos feel they have been unfairly targeted right here in Anaheim…

how do we wind up with so many people in this world who see groups of others as, well… “others”?

We long to belong, yet all of us know what it feels like to be the outsider.

Feeling victimized sometimes leads to doing to someone else the very thing that was done to us.  Victims can become perpetrators.  This isn’t the part of ourselves that we are most apt to want to explore, yet if we don’t, then what?

We speak of seeking “tolerance”.  We say “education” is the key.  We espouse “cultural sensitivity” as part of the answer.

Yet, what if that isn’t enough?

We are troubled when we see these issues at-play in society at large, yet these same issues show up in our close, intimate relationships… especially the one we have with our own inner self.

  • Why is it so hard to genuinely empathize with “others”?
  • Why is it so easy to get stuck on our differences and so hard to see what we have in common?
  • Is faking it and superficially “playing nice” the best we can do?
  • How can we deal with the inevitable resentment (and desire for revenge?) that holds us captive?
  • How do unresolved traumatic experiences contribute to stereotypes?

We will be exploring these issues at the next Living Ubuntu retreat.

All details are below.  To create an emotionally safe, secure space, we are limiting attendance to 10 people.  Please let us know soon if you would like to join us.

Warmly,

Barbara & Anshul
Founders, Living Ubuntu
http://livingubuntu.org
(949) 891-2005

“When we see others as the enemy, we risk becoming what we hate. When we oppress others, we end up oppressing ourselves. All of our humanity is dependent upon recognizing the humanity in others.”
– Desmond Tutu

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When We Become The Thing We Hate

How our trauma and unhealed wounds erode empathy, fuel fear, and create “others”

Cabin in Idyllwild

The Living Ubuntu Fall Retreat will be Idyllwild, CA. Click here to see more pictures of the cabin.

When:
Friday, Oct 26 – Sunday, Oct 28 2012

Where:
In the remote mountains of Idyllwild, CA.  Here are the cabin details.

Cost:
$195 per person. This includes food and lodging for the weekend.
If there is any financial hardship, please get in touch with us. We will do our best to accommodate your situation.

Presenter:

Barbara English is a licensed Marriage Family Therapist with over 20 years of experience in the field. As a Certified Bioenergetic Therapist, she works from a mind-body perspective, and utilizes relational somatic methods as part of the process toward healing and a sense of well-being. Much of her training has focused on Early Development, Infant Mental Health, and healing after abuse or trauma. She is the co-founder and Executive Director of Living Ubuntu.

Like at our past retreats, we will:

  • Arrive at the cabin by mid-day on Friday and leave for home on Sunday afternoon. We will arrange a carpool to drive up together (leaving Friday morning).
  • Lunch and dinner will be provided, as well as supplies for breakfast (on your own).  Meals will be vegetarian, and organic as much as possible.
  • The daily schedule will include multiple sessions of body work (e.g. Bioenergetic grounding exercises, and TRE).
  • Most bedrooms will be shared (i.e. with roommate).
  • To create a safe, secure space, we are limiting attendance to no more than 10 people.

To register, please contact us at info@livingubuntu.org or call (949) 891-2005.

Space is limited and 50% deposit is due by September 28th, payable to Living Ubuntu, 1151 Dove Street #210, Newport Beach CA 92660.  Remaining balance is due by October 19th.

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4 thoughts on “When we become the thing we hate: How our trauma and unhealed wounds erode empathy, fuel fear, and create “others”

  1. Pingback: “It is not what happened to you as a child that matters, it’s how you make sense of what happened to you.” « Living Ubuntu Blog

  2. Pingback: The toll of everyday life « Living Ubuntu Blog

  3. Pingback: Why is joy, satisfaction and “aliveness” so elusive? « Living Ubuntu Blog

  4. Pingback: When Will Became a Bully « Living Ubuntu Blog

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