Suddenly, with the cameras still humming, Morrie adjusted the glasses. He stopped, bit his lip, and began to choke up. Tears fell down his nose. “I lost my mother when I was a child . . . and it was quite a blow to me . . . I wish I’d had a group like yours where I would have been able to talk about my sorrows. I would have joined your group because . . .”
His voice cracked.
” . . . because I was so lonely . . . “
“Morrie”, Koppel said, “that was seventy years ago your mother died. The pain still goes on?”
“You bet,” Morrie whispered.
It’s hard not to tear up while reading Tuesdays with Morrie, and this passage above exemplifies so well the process of grief, and mourning. Only after we have finally given in to our grief and mourned our deepest losses do we then find the energy for life. It’s so simple, yet so hard. Why are so many of us determined to try to avoid our own “pain”? Why do we feel that we have to “manage” by ourselves? Why is “reaching” for love, support and contact so hard?
We bump up against these issues time and time again in our work in Living Ubuntu, especially in OC for Darfur. It can be easy to get lost in the million tasks that need to be done — writing letters to Congress, organizing events, trying to raise awareness of the suffering going on with the people of Darfur . . . And yet, not allow ourselves to feel the vulnerability and helplessness that they feel. That is the constant challenge, to not lose our ground and keep in touch with the passion that motivated us to get involved in the first place.
This Saturday April 10th, we are glad to have our Sudanese friends from San Diego join us for the screening of “Rebuilding Hope”. We hope to have an emotionally honest discussion with them not just about the current situation in Sudan, but also about their experience leaving home and family, and the immense challenges they face now living in the US. All details are on the website.
And yes, registration for Vincentia Schroeter’s Workshop on Disappointment and Heartbreak this April is still open. We hope you will be able to join us :)
“Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.”
– Morrie Schwartz